Can your child answer the following questions?
1. Do you know that it is okay to say “NO!” to an adult or an older child?
Children are taught to always be polite and mind their manners and therefore, children would find it difficult to say no to an adult or older child when they feel uncomfortable or are unsure about what the adult or older child wants them to do. It is therefore important to realize that not all people have your child’s best intentions at heart. The reality is that there are people in this country who would harm your child for their own needs.
Teach your child that it is okay to say no to an adult or older child when they expect them to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe or uncertain. Tell them that you will explain to this adult or older child that your child was being safe and trusted his instincts or inner voice. And make sure that you do back your child up when it comes to him/her following their instinct when it comes to matters of personal safety.
2. Do you know when to stop a conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or doubtful inside?
Children are innocent and even though they are taught not to talk to strangers, situations exist where adults and older children talk to your child about things that are inappropriate.
Your young child may feel uncomfortable and not know how to handle the information [which may be explicit] that is coming their way. Teach your child that if a conversation makes them feel uncomfortable, unsafe or doubtful inside, to walk or run away and to tell you or another trusted adult about it as soon as possible.
3. Do you know which person to go to for help if you get separated from mom or dad?
Children are taught not to talk to strangers, but what if a stranger is the only one who could help them should they get separated from you? You want to ensure that your child knows which stranger to go to for help should this happen: the woman behind the till at a shopping centre, choose the pharmacist that you always go to for medication as a meeting point, or look for another mommy with children. These are some examples of ‘strangers’ who may assist your child should they get separated from you.
4. Do you know to run and yell… shout and tell, when someone tries to make you do something that you feel uncomfortable or scared about?
A Child sexual predator tries to blend in and wants as little attention for himself as possible. Teach your child to scream and shout and make as much noise as they can when someone tries to make them do something that makes them feel uncomfortable or scared.
5. Do you know that you should take at least 2 adult step backwards [2 adult arm-lengths] when someone tries to get close to you in order for them to get within their reach?
A person who wants to forcefully grab your child will try anything to get your child to get close to them in order for them to do that - from stopping in a car to ask for directions to taking their favourite toy and asking your child to come and fetch it from them. You need to teach your child that for example, adults stopping to ask children for directions is always a danger sign – they need to turn around and run in the opposite direction that the car is facing; and should someone take their favourite toy and ask them to get closer to get it back, to rather leave the toy and tell a trusted adult. Their lives are more important than any toy could ever be.
6. Do you know to stay in the public eye when you ask someone for help when you are away from your parents/care-givers?
Staying in the public eye means staying where other people are too. Should your child need to ask for help from a stranger in for example a shopping centre, they need to know not to go anywhere else with that stranger – they must stay where other people are too. Where they can be seen. An opportunistic child sexual predator will hone in on your child and may ask him/her to go with him to find his parents.
7. Do you know that if you are 50% uncertain about a situation or about the behaviour of a person, to rather run away and tell and be safe, than to stay?
Instinct is something you’re born with, intuition is something that is learnt through experience. Young children do not have intuition, but it can be taught and the first most important intuitive lesson a person can teach their child, is to follow the little voice of doubt inside, and to listen when the inner alarm bells go off. So, if your child feels a little bit uncertain or unsafe or unsure about a situation or behaviour, teach them to listen to that and get away from that person or place.
8. Do you know that people who really care for you will always back you up when you tell them something that is difficult for you to deal with?
Children need to know that no matter how bizarre a story or emotion may sound to you, that you will always listen – really listen - to them, and believe them. If your child feels that he or she cannot tell you anything, they may not tell you about the person who tried to touch them inappropriately, or who showed him/her his private parts. Children do not easily talk about things that they feel is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for fear of getting into trouble. Parents and care-givers need to create opportunities for children to talk and make sure that they really listen to the child, and not judge the child.
9. Who are the people in your life that you trust – do I know them?
Children don’t always understand what trust is about. A child sexual predator may take weeks to gain the trust of a child through grooming methods and you won’t even know that your child has been talking to or spending time with that person. Make sure that you know every person in your child’s life.
10. Do you know your personal details?
Name, address, phone number, mom and dad’s first names and their telephone numbers. Children are never too young to learn these details.
11. Do you have a password that only mom and dad and you know for when someone else picks you up from school or from a friend’s house?
If they don’t know the password [which only mom, dad and you know] then you don’t go with them. You tell another trusted adult and insist on phoning mom or dad to check.
12. Do you have a safe alternative place to go to should mom or dad not be home when you come home from school?
It is paramount to your child’s safety to ensure that your child has a safe alternative place to go to if you are not home when they get back from school. Make sure that you tell your child how to get there, and that the person they are with is a trusted individual. Also ensure that your child is comfortable and feels safe at this place.
No comments:
Post a Comment